WARNING!!!!! LONG POST!!!!!!
i know where your coming from poundsey, my son was in nursery 3 yr old and one teacher (bitch) waited until i was in the que of other parents to scream at me
"your son wants flippin testing hes got adhd!!!"
my response, no darling you want testing if you cant cope with a 3 yr old thats energetic.
my argument all the other kids in his class were obese -no joke. he was the only one who run and not get outta breath, i ignored her screams at me.
he then moved into reception and really struggled with everything from reading to writing but would sit and listen to stories and come with unbelieveable theories on stories for his age.
5 yr old listening to the story about the huge turnip, hes sat on teachers knee and she asks how can they eat the turnip if its too big to get in the house?
my son replied why dont they chop it up and take it inside to cook it! the teacher was amazed at his theory as he was only 5, art work was amazing but everything else he struggeled with. he also suffered with a lot of ear infections and had a really bad case where i said enough was enough he shouldnt be having this many infections at a young age send him for a check up, this turned out to be a major problem, he was technically deaf in both ears which is why he struggled. he had spent his whole nursery life not able to hear anything but muffled voices. so he had to have gromets fitted. this did help but bless him then we found out he was virtually blind too lol, needed glasses. by this time he was nrly 6 so his whole learning foundations had been ruined by his sight and earing which doesnt help when your dyslexic. once he had his hearing sorted and his vision it was too late and he needed extra help in lessons. i did what i could by joining parent classes at school to help with his learning:
numeracy & literacy course,first aid course, coping with kids with learning probs, i went on them all.
it wasnt until i went on the adhd course that i realised my son had possibly adhd, i went to support a cpl of friends whos kids did have learning probs and everything they were saying there described my son.
i do feel partly to blame cos i refused to listen to bitch teacher, i should have demanded the hospital for his earing earlier as for his eyes, he went every 6 months so i trusted the optition when they said everything was fine. so now it was down to me to get his education back up there.
if the school offer parent groups and you can go, go to them you will learn loads of stuff to help.
i stopped making him read the book he was sent home with, if he picked it up to read then fair enough, but this task had turned into a nightmare where he would sob, i would rage etc. this HAS worked, he loves books now because he chose to read them himself not having me scream have you read your book yet.
he used to look at the picture in the book and make his own story up instead of reading words.
when he counted to 10 he would miss 7 or 9 every time.
he was impulsive, he knew the dangers but did stuff anyway, couldnt help himself.
i was in denial for a very long time about his condition but this wasnt helping him so i said yeah he may have a problem, lets sort it.
No one believed me when i said he had tourrettes cos they were expecting all the f words etc, but this drove me insane. was i the only one hearing this? was i imagining it cos no one else had noticed?
he used to talk to me but inbetween words instead of taking a breath he would make a humming noise through his nose or a squeek. it wasnt until i pointed out what to listen to people realised yes he did do it!!!then he would screw his face up or blink his eyes multiple times. after a while his gran passed away and the noises got worse, he was then diagnosed with facial tics- tourrettes. it could get worse if hes stressed.
i was really worried as he was moving into secondary school and he had not been diagnosed with adhd yet, i also struggled with which medicine to put him on, husband and i argued about it cos he didnt want him on meds, i needed him on something to aid his learning. finally it came to a head when i couldnt cope anymore, i was the one at home with him while the husband was at work and he didnt see what i had to put up with until the husband was on holiday- he lost his rag with the lad playing up and i lost my rag with husband saying its not his fault etc.
hes on medication now and it has helped him so much, i leave it up to him if he wants to take the meds, i told him he can take it all week for school and have weekends off, but he takes one everyday himself.
i dont treat his illness as an excuse. i will not allow him to run round like a looney destroying property, hitting people and blame adhd. i will talk to him if hes outta line, tell him why ive told him not to do something- because of this people dont believe me that he has adhd. i am teaching him to control his illness not let his illness control him.
be totally honest and open and discuss everything with your kid, he may be young but he will understand.
things are going so well for him at school now its unbelievable, hes very artistic and has won 2 awards for art projects so far. i got a call from school the other day saying he had aced a maths test, top of class, only one in class to do so, he reads his won types of books, draws pictures from them and does his homework.
i had to stop pestering him to do work and change my phrasing to have you got homework? or have you finsihed it yet? instead of go do your homework?
make a big deal out of what he does right, dont make a big deal about what hes done wrong.
ive been where you are poundsey, its a long scary road but the end will leave you leaping with joy. keep at it, go with your gut instinct and dont let them fob you off. tell them everything that concerns you and ask people to help you at school, if school do recommend you to someone then go for it, doing this yourself via doctors is a longer process, school seem to be able to rush appointments through quicker than a doctor.
when i went to see my doctor and told him my concerns he said " oh another one jumping on the ADHD bandwagon!" i wont type what i told him to do lol.